


earl grey. || an OC scott pilgrim AU

by mauve_1312



Category: Original Work, Scott Pilgrim - All Media Types, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Boys In Love, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Original Male Character(s) - Freeform, Scott Pilgrim AU, a long story filled with sighs, did i add a purely self indulgent knives/kim storyline? yes, im going to make someone yell at me everytime i need to write for this, no. knives is not seventeen bcuz ew, oc au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29970384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mauve_1312/pseuds/mauve_1312
Summary: a scott pilgrim OC AU? in this economy? crazy.some new faces, some old faces but mostly a gay self indulgent au.
Relationships: Knives Chau/Kim Pine, Knives Chau/Scott Pilgrim, Ramona Flowers/Scott Pilgrim, Steven Stills/Original Female Character
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> yoyoyo, its mauve!!!! i love wallace. everyone in scott pilgrm is so hot. oh lifes woes.

before we start, here are the characters and their roles:

dean - scott pilgrim  
beverly - steven stills  
isra - kim pine  
lu - wallace wells  
gill - ramona flowers  
alette - knives chau

and many, many more, maybe too many.

✩★✩

not so long ago, in the mysterious land of toronto, canada,   
dean pilgrim was dating a highschooler.

☆★☆

"dean pilgrim is dating a highschooler?" isra spoke flatly from the table behind dean, beverly seemed taken aback, enquiring, "really? is she hot?" 

dean opened the cabinet and took the sugar out, taking some and stirring it into his tea, maybe he could pretend he didn't hear them, he thought, isra started again, "how old are you now, dean, like 28?" she commented and crossed her arms, "so you've been out of highschool for what, thirteen years now?" 

dean sighed, "i don't have time for your games right now, kids, i'm twenty two.." he trailed off before repeating, "twenty two." he affirmed again.

[✩ DEAN PILGRIM  
22 YEARS OLD  
RATING: AWESOME ★]

"so, you're dating a highschooler. not bad, for an old man." beverly said, smirking and nodding to herself, before digging back into her dry cereal she was eating like a bag of chips.

[ ♪ BEVERLY STILLS  
"THE TALENT"  
22 YEARS OLD ♫︎]

"so, have you guys, y'know, done it yet?" beverly asked, tilting her head to the side and looking at dean, preparing to give the others the side glance of a lifetime.

"we do," he cleared his throat, "many things, we, uh, ride the bus together.." beverly had already given him a face that showed she was holding back laughter.

dean groaned, "well, we have meaningful conversations about, like, how year book club went, and her friends and, like, drama."

"well aren't you pleased as punch." isra said bluntly, "i have no idea what you're talking about." dean mused and took a long,dramatic sip of his tea, which he hated and made a face at when he was done.

"so what's her name?" beverly asked, cutting through the tension, "alette chau." he said, beverly smiled in a more genuine way, "when do we meet her?" 

"oh please, please let it be soon." deadpanned an emotionless isra, lowering her eyebrows.

then a ringing came from the door, dean stood up to get it and sat his mug down on the table, heading to the door and swinging it open, there, sat alette chau.

"hi!" she said nervously, but with her same bubbly energy.

[ ALETTE CHAU  
HIGH SCHOOLER  
18 YEARS OLD ] 

"you promise to be good?" dean said anxiously, "of course!" alette chirped back, "no. but seriously, please be good." he said, again.

alette's voice rattled around with nerves, "am i normally bad?" 

beverly stepped beside dean, "hi beverly. she's the talent." he announced immediately, beverly only waved and closed the door in alette's face, turning to dean, "is she gonna geek out on us?"

"nope. she's quiet as a mouse, 'll just be in the corner the whole time." beverly defined her statement to him, "no- but like, i want her to geek out on us." 

"i mean, she geeks, she has the capacity to geek." dean corrected, beverly swung the door open again, to a bewildered alette, "you're good." bev said and walked away from them both.

"this is isra." dean gestured vaguely to isra and took alette's jacket for her, putting it on the coat rack that hadn't gotten use in the greater part of months, "uh, sorry what was your name?" 

"isra." isra parroted and stared at alette with her usual, cold look, "and you play the drums?" alette asked her to confirm.

[ISRA   
DRUMMER  
23 YEARS OLD]

isra stayed silent for a few moments, "yes." she said, finally, it probably should've been obvious from the way isra was sat directly at a drumset, but it was more of a polite question to ask than genuine curiosity.

"that's..awesome." alette said, isra smiled a tiny little smile.

alette sat back on the couch as the band got ready to play, "let's get ready to play guts, gore, blood." dean said, beverly quickly spoke into the mic, "that's- not the actual title of the song."

"we are sex bob-omb, one, two, three, four!" isra counted them in as the music started and the amp distorted the chords back into the room. 

bev began singing into the mic, and dean was missing quite a few of the chords he was trying to play, because his guitar was way too big for him, but the song was pretty dope, so who cares?

★☆★☆★

"she seems nice!" beverly said, once they were all together in dean's room later on.

"dean, if your life had a face i would punch the face." dean chuckled, before realising what she said, "wait? huh? how do you mean?"

"i mean, are you really happy or are you really evil." she asked, blinking at him.

"like, do i have hidden motives or something? i'm offended, isra." he stated.

"wounded, even?" she quirked an eyebrow up at him, showing a streak of bemusement.

"hurt." he confirmed, nodding a bit.

★☆★☆★

AFTERWARDS..

dean walked into his tiny apartment, to see his roomate lu, who was sitting up reading a newspaper that covered his face.

"before you say anything, yes, i am dating someone, and yes, i am dating a highschooler." he seemed to answer questions no one was asking, nor did he have the grounds to assume anyone would.

"aw, is he cute?" he baby-voiced, not bothering to look up at dean.

[LU WELLS  
ROOMMATE  
RATING: 7.5/10

"you really shouldn't say that in this house, the last time i asked you that you were dating your parole officer." dean pointed out, leaving lu looking amused at the story.

"does this mean we have to stop sleeping together?" lu asked, "do you see another bed in here?" dean rushed out, seeming embarrassed by the way lu worded the question.

"oh yeah, i forgot that you're totally my bitch forever." he closed the newspaper to take a look around, then opened it right back up again.

"so, with the whole eighteen year old thing," dean started, fiddling with his hands, "don't tell too many people." 

"oh yeah, you know me." lu began, before dean stopped him, "what i mean is, don't tell my sister."

lu quickly took out his phone with ease and started texting, then standing up and heading to the bathroom, "you know me." he said as he passed dean.

"who are.." dean trailed off before the ringing from the phone rattled through the box-like room, dean picked it up.

[ ★ MACY PILGRIM  
YOUNGER SISTER  
18 YEARS OLD  
RATED "T" FOR TEEN ✩]

"an eighteen year old? scandal." she beamed down the phone, dean groaned, "that's true. who told you?" 

"lu. duh!" she answered condescendingly, "that gossipy bitch." dean commented out loud as lu swung the bathroom door open, "you know me!" he smirked.

"who is this mystery child you're dating?" his sister asked, seeming all-too pleased with herself, "alette chau. it's a catholic school too." 

"like, with the uniforms and everything? you are ridiculous. why are you doing this?" she questioned, annoyed at his antics.

"i, i don't know, it's just," he put a hand on his face, "it's nice."

"it's been over a year since you got dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named." she reminded him as a pained expression washed over him.

"what if this is just you being, y'know, a little cuckoo?" she asked, testing the waters with a non-offensive question.

"can i get back to you on that one?" dean answered.

★☆★☆★


	2. dean pilgrm vs. confusing dreamscapes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit longer than the last one. introduces some of my friend's OCs. it's super fun writing this and adding my own pieces to it :) will get more funky as it goes on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOO 1.5k words lets go!!!! so hopeful for a good schedule so far

LATER…

the sound of the guy who got paid to do arcade games' voice blasted through the nearly arcade, dean and alette scurried their feet to the foot placement symbols on-screen.

"did you know the original name for pac-man was puck-man? people think its 'cause he looks like a hockey puck but it's from the japanese phrase paku-paku which means to flap one's mouth open and closed. they changed it because they thought it would be too easy to vandalise, y'know people would scratch off the 'P' and turn it into an 'F' or whatever." dean regurgitated from a magazine he had gotten as junk mail a week ago.

alette giggled while swapping grids with dean to tap her feet to the rhythm, "oh my god. wow." she flipped over him and swapped grids again, putting her arms in a wolverine-like position and putting them down again as the level ended.

"yeah..wow." dean parroted, nudging his head to the game as it counted down, "oh. oh i got it!" alette realised as she knelt down to put another coin in the machine. 

★☆★☆★

"i don't really listen to that much music, i know a lot of kids that play piano but.." she paused, "you guys are really cool."

dean flushed and stared at the ground, "well i guess we're pretty good. if my guitar actually worked for once." he blamed the size of the guitar on the guitar itself and not his overestimation of his height while online shopping.

"you guys are gonna be huge!" alette assured as she scanned through the previously owned t-shirts in the goodwill tops isle.

"um, excuse me, have you got any heart fists merch?" alette asked dorian, the employee at the desk that everyone seemed to recognise.

they rolled their eyes and quirked an eyebrow at her, "uh, i'm not sure, did you check the bright red section labelled 'heart fists'?" they responded with a tone that dripped with sarcasm.

"thanks a bunch, dory.." dean whispered under his breath while pointedly staring at the records without reading their titles.

[★ DORIAN POWERS  
HAS ISSUES  
22 YEARS OLD ✩]

"are you going to my party friday? or will you be stuck babysitting." dorian lowered their eyebrows at the two of them and blinked rapidly in their direction.

"thank you, dory.." dean repeated in a more hushed and tired tone, "you don't wanna listen to them." he said to alette.

alette ignored him and picked up a heart fists CD, dean quickly grabbed it from her and tossed it to the isle behind them, "definitely don't wanna listen to them." he brushed her off.

"oh i heart them so much!" alette gushed as they began walking to the exit, "well, i hearted them too until they signed to this huge label and the lead singer turned into a total scheeze and, y'know ruined my life forever, that's just me."

"rose adams is *so*cool! do you get her mail subscription? it has posters, and mugs and.." dean eventually tuned her out while keeping his nerves as cool as he could.

★✩★✩★

"i've never gone out with someone so talented." alette admitted when they were walking to the bus stop home.

"do you go out with tons of guys?" dean questioned, suddenly stopping on the pavement, feeling just a tinge insecure.

"well, no..not really. i've never even kissed a guy." she confessed.

"hey...me neither." he comforted, and she smiled warmly before he even knew what he was talking about.

★✩★✩★

dean opened his eyes and he was in a vast desert, still in his winter gear, though he didn't feel warm at all.

only a cactus and what seemed like an eagle screeching into the air kept him company, making him feel terribly isolated.

"oh god...so alone." he groaned and collapsed onto his knees, he opened his eyes to see a remarkably pretty guy skating past him, leaving a trail of dust behind him.

"you're not alone. you're just having a silly dream." the guy seemed to comfort, "does that mean we can make out?" dean shouted to them, before jolting up in his bed next to lu and someone else.

★✩★✩★

"oh, god." he said, loudly enough for both of the figures next to him to hear, lu sat up next to him, "what the hell is up with you?" he questioned, "it was just this dream.." the third person sat up, too, "oh, my god." he said, like he had also been shocked and annoyed.

"what is it, other dean?" lu asked him, turning his head to face him even though his eyes were still closed with tiredness.

"can we please skip dean #1's dream time?" he snarked, "was this some rose-related dream?" 

lu put a hand on his chest, as if to physically hault him from saying her name, "ay, ay, we don't use that word in this house."

"no, no, it wasn't her. it was somebody new." dean announced as dean-number-two slumped back onto the squeaky mattress, "hooray for that." he said on his way down.

lu pulled out his phone and checked the time at the top of the screen, "speaking of new, weren't you supposed to meet your fake-highschool-girlfriend at the library a half hour ago?"

dean's face contorted in confusion, "what? no, that's ridiculous it's like six in the morning-" he opened the door suddenly and the contrasted bright sunlight to the ambient tiny apartment nearly blinded him as he yelped in pain.

★☆★☆★

"libraries are like medicine cabinets with vitamins in them." dean remarked as alette piled AP calculus books into his open hands, which made him nearly drop them all, "were children made to carry these?" dean complained out loud while alette kept her kind smile.

they headed downstairs to where you could check out books, and dean's face completely dropped when he saw the exact guy in his dream standing at the librarian's desk with an amazon package, even the same shade of purple hair dye ran through his hair.

he stared at him until he eventually left, and then he stared where he was standing when he came down the stairs. alette questioned him, "oh, do you know that guy?" 

★✩★✩★

"dean!" beverly yelled in his ear, shaking him out of his thoughts, "woah! what?" she groaned, "you played a single note for that entire song." she explained and sat on the chair next to all their equipment.

"my..my hand slipped." dean weakly responded, leaving isra giving him a death glare that could kill, "is your girlfriend distracting you?" she asked.

"i'll be quiter…" alette frowned from the couch in front of the band.

"let's take it from the top." beverly said, putting her guitar around her torso again.

★☆★☆★

"wait, what are we doing?" dean asked, his breath wafting a steam into the cool night air.

"i told you like a million times. we're going to dorian's party, asshole. there might be label guys there" beverly reminded him again, her hands digging deep into her jacket's pockets.

★☆★☆★

"this totally sucks." dean seemed to say to himself for the hundredth time that hour, a non-alcoholic juice in his hand and marching up the stairs to use the bathroom out of boredom.

"so i told these guys, 'what if we made music, but for dogs that lead the blind'" sytharas said, from the stairs, turning to its friend who was nodding in interest at the stupid idea.

"dean, hey!" sytharas said to him as he was reaching the top of the stairs, "you getting your drink on?" he asked, noticing the cup in his hand.

"oh, uh, no. i don't drink, this is just blueberry juice." he said, feeling kinda embarrassed that he asked.

"what do you mean you don't drink?" he laughed through his nose, "last time i saw you, you were getting trashed on a bottle of peach-"

"hey, sytharas, you know everybody right?" dean cut it off, with a semi-urgent tone.

[✩ SYTHARAS  
KNOWS EVERYONE  
25 YEARS OLD ★]

he laughed a little bit in response, "yeah, pretty much." he responded, humbly.

"can you tell me anything about a guy who looks like this?" he pulled a scrappily done artistic rendition of the guy he saw in his dream and in the library up from his phone.

"you'd be looking for gill flowers." geez, he could be a great detective, "why 'you asking? you have the hots for him or something? i gotta tell you, he's kinda.." he found the right wording, "out there. i heard he'd be here tonight."

dean yanked his own arm down and looked around startledly, "what? seriously?" he had zoomed off as fast as sytharas could open its mouth to ask anything else.

dean scanned everyone with purple hair that he could find in the sea of intoxicated 20-something year olds, which was more difficult than he thought since there were tons of them, but none of them had hair like, what was his name, gill.

eventually he saw him, leaning against the wall and smiling at the crowd of dancers in front of him.

dean crushed the now-empty solo cup in his hand and marched over to the wall gill was leaning against.


	3. dean pilgrim vs. paku-paku

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 3!!! storys picking up now :)))) criticism is appreciated

dean awkwardly shifted over to right next to where gill was standing, still holding his crushed cup and his heart buzzing with nerves.

"hey, what's up?" he asked, suppressing a voice crack as best he could, "nothing." gill responded, taking a sip of whatever was in his classic red cup.

"hey, you know pacman?" dean asked, covertly wiping a sweaty hand on his pants and not daring to maintain eye contact.

"i've heard of him, yes." gill responded, as chilled out as ever.

"well, pacman..was originally called puckman..they changed it because, uh, not because pacman looks like a hockey puck- paku-paku means flap your mouth, and people were worried they'd scratch out the 'P' and turn it into an 'F'." dean stuttered out for the second time that week.

"wow. that's uh...interesting." gill kept a polite look on his face but took a hasty sip of his drink.

"am i dreaming?" dean realised he had said that part out loud and cursed under his breath to the floor.

gill just tossed him a concerned gaze, this time with eye contact, shaking dean up considerably.

"i'll leave you alone forever now." dean rushed out and walked away as quick as he could. avoiding an awkward situation.

and then, he stalked him, until he left the party…

★✩★✩★

"dude!" he grabbed beverly on the arm and spun her around, to her shock and confusion.

"what the hell?!"

"he's totally real!" he nervously chirped to her, but was met with more confusion.

"what do you mean?!"

★✩★✩★

"dude!" he yelled to sytharas after he found him, who was chatting to someone different from before.

"woah! what now?" it asked him, also startled by his volume.

"what can you tell me about gill flowers?" he squeaked, feeling jittery as ever.

"jeez, man. i don't know much, i just know he's american. maybe ask dorian." sytharas sighed.

"american…" he whispered to himself as he walked off without a goodbye.

★✩★✩★

"what about gill flowers?" dorian's voice was dripped with malice when dean worked up the courage to ask them about her.

"you know him? tell me now." dean squeaked, never feeling more determined in his life.

"he delivers for amazon. comes into my work." dorian crossed their arms, getting annoyed by dean already.

"didn't he just break up with someone?" beverly overheard and stepped into the conversation, "is that who you were yelling about earlier?"

"yes. but i didn't want dean to know that, bev." dorian knocked her on the arm.

"man, i don't know what it is about him.."

"dean!" dorian suddenly yelled in a flat tone, "i forbid you from hitting on gill. even if you haven't had a real date in over a year." 

dean made an offended noise as beverly interjected, "woah, woah, c'mon guys, dean's mourning period is officially over. he's totally dating a highschooler."

"dating a highschooler is the mourning period, jackass." dorian rolled his eyes and took the final sip of his drink, "i don't want you scaring off the coolest person at my party, dean." they scolded, "we all know you're a total person-repellant wannabe jerky-jerk." 

"that is totally not true." dean defended as dorian made a face at him.

"that time with elizabeth?"

"that was a misunderstanding."

"that time with mona?"

"that wasn't what it looked like."

"that time you totally dumped isra and-"

"me and isra are totally cool."

dorian sighed, "whatever. he's way out of your league. not to mention, i don't even know if he did just break up with someone. some guy named PH."

dean started again, "yeah, i don't know what it is about him but-" 

dorian scolded him again, "forget it, dean!" 

★✩★✩★

"guess who's drunk!" lu announced when he came home late that night, flopping on the bed after taking off his jacket.

"i guess lu." dean groaned, shifting from the weight beside him on the mattress, "hey, remember that guy i was telling you about from my dream?"

"i'm 90% sure you didn't, but go ahead." lu whispered, lying flat on his stomach with his eyes fluttered closed.

"so i went to that party, and there he is!" he whisper-shouted in a giddy fit.

"ok, i'm all caught up so far." lu exhaled against the pillow.

"i think he might be the guy of my dreams…" dean said to the ceiling, lu picked his head up off of the pillow for a moment, "awe, then you should break up with your fake highschool girlfriend." 

suddenly the phone rang from beside dean, and he picked it up with only a vague sense of who might be on the other line.

"you're thinking of juggling two dates?!" his sister yelled down the phone at him as he sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"i'm not even!" he defended himself, "then you need to break up with your fake highschool girlfriend!" she hissed.

"wait, who even told you?" his eyebrows knotted together.

"lu. duh. who else?" she said for the millionth time since him and lu had lived together.

"he's not even conscious." dean reasoned and looked over to lu, who had a phone in his still hand.

he hung up and turned to him again, "how the hell do you do that?" he asked no one in particular.

★✩★✩★

"lu!" dean called from the tiny computer chair that nearly touched the ground, his hands on the keyboard of lu's laptop, waking lu up from his deep slumber.

"what." lu said in a tired voice that was mumbled against his pillow.

"amazon.ca. what's the website for that?" dean asked, suddenly in urgent need of any CD at all.

"amazon.ca?" lu asked, wondering why dean had woken him up for the worst question anyone had ever asked.

"dude, this thing claims i have mail!" dean exclaimed, taken aback by the fact that someone had emailed instead of texted, ew.

"amazing what we can do with computers these days." lu groaned as he put on his jacket.

"dear mr. pilgrim, it's come to my attention that we will be fighting...patel...yadayada.." he read down to the words 'duel' and 'seven evil' before deleting it.

"emails are so boring." dean said as he dragged the email to the trashbin icon on the bottom of the screen.

dean immediately took root at the welcome mat at the front entrance, sitting cross legged with an impatient look on his face.

"are you seriously waiting for the package you just ordered?" lu asked, not at all surprised.

"uh, maybe. shut up." dean mumbled, still not moving from his position.

"dude, it's saturday, they don't deliver on weekends-" lu started but was cut off by a loud ringing of the doorbell.

dean smirked at him, "you were saying?" he taunted and opened the front door, only to find alette standing there.

"surprise hug!" she called and gave dean a big hug once she saw him.

"ha, yeah, surprise hug." he said and tried not to sound annoyed and disappointed.

"remember how we were supposed to meet at the bus stop a half hour ago?" alette said, even though she got totally stood up she's still smiling.

"how could i have forgotten." dean said flatly.

★✩★✩★

dean and alette flipped through the record bins until they got hungry, alette bought a band shirt and ranted about her friends' drama. dean didn't say anything.


End file.
